When do people actually say L word in a relationship?

I think people just over use L word cause it's nice.
I don't know when I'm supposed to say that word to P. I'm not just dating him anymore and I don't think he is either. - but, who knows...? I feel like I can say that easily even now, but at the same time I want to say that when it feels really... wholesome. Not just by attraction and lovey dovey cloudy emotion.

I don't like seeing email signatures like "L, xxx" or when people say "I love you" with lighting speed at the end of their conversation. It looks like we have to reinforce/remind ourselves that love mode.
No, I'm not against about expressing our love. The more, the better, I think. But, casual L word everywhere just doesn't feel right to me.

Or maybe I'm just too afraid of making a big statement that I can't take back if it doesn't turn out beautifully...
I've been with P not even for full 6 months and L word should come out of my mouth at least another 6 months later, I think. ONLY if we still adore and care for each other and ONLY when the idea of losing him doesn't make me feel feel like someone ripped off my life.

Relationship is a fucking bitch.

Comments

[gunderson bee]

ONLY when the idea of losing him doesn't make me feel feel like someone ripped off my life.

Isn't that part of what love is???? Maybe I'm not understanding the point.

Love has some tragedy intertwined in it, no matter how pragmatic the soul.

[gunderson bee]

Ooo, also: Dont' say it until he does, but make sure you give him ample opportunity to do so. 

[gt]

Isn't that part of what love is???? Maybe I'm not understanding the point.

I know. There's always some kinda sadness in relationship, I guess. I am certainly taking the risk of being hurt when it doesn't work, but I just want to see if this one has more maturity in it. Not just falling in and out of love.

I think I'm just bullshitting... And yes, I'm not planning to spit out L word before he does...

[Patty]

I think the "L" word decision is a simple one: say it when you feel it. Relationships *are* hard and complicated, but expressing love when you feel it is always a good path to take. And if you can't say it without needing (not wanting) to hear it back, then you know it's real love. 

[gt]

And if you can't say it without needing (not wanting) to hear it back, then you know it's real love.

Oh...! I have had hard time to phrase the "love" I was thinking, but you just gave me good answer! Thank you!

[zhy]

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